I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
