All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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