I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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