this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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