I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
