i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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