Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
