i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
