idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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