Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I need moral support for this bender
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
