hotel room ftw
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
