Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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