PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize