i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
