I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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