And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
