Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
