8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
