You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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