I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize