There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize