Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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