Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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