If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
In America we eat man semen.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
