I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
