So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
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He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
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Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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