I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
