How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.