is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sarcasm needs its own font
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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