escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she peed on how many people?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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