high people should be assigned attendants
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
