i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
