I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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