problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
