He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
