is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
