you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize