Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
