spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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