remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
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She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
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At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize