Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
