Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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