Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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