Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
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Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize