Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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