there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
it was like eating out sand paper
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
