Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
