She said her name was "party"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
