Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
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It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
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HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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