Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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