oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I got inside last night via doggy door
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
